


picture of your face in an invisible locket

by Vorelleu



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Exes to Lovers, F/F, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, is it slow burn if they're exes, lena's being her usual dramatic self, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:55:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26582488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vorelleu/pseuds/Vorelleu
Summary: Kara and Lena was the type of couple that everyone thought was endgame, until they broke up. For five years they lived apart. Then they meet again.or: The exes to lovers and celebrity au
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	picture of your face in an invisible locket

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Taylor Swift's Dancing With Our Hands Tied
> 
> Songs to listen to;  
> The Lucky One by Taylor Swift  
> The Moment I Knew by Taylor Swift  
> I Almost Do by Taylor Swift  
> the 1 by Taylor Swift (i'm a fan, you can tell)  
> Arcade by Duncan Laurence

____

Constantly,

consistently,

continually,

_you._

____

The flashes of the cameras were blinding. Crowds deafening.

Lena could hear the host announce her arrival. Excited squeals were heard over the crowd.

It was kind of, a lot overwhelming. Lena clenched the napkin in her hand for the last time and threw it in the now empty seat next to her, fearing that her hands were clammy. She prepared for this, she’s ready. Hands on her lap, Lena flattened invisible creases on her slacks. Jack, her costar and date for tonight’s event looked dashing in his black tuxedo and slicked back hair. He opened the car door for Lena, ever the gentleman, and offered his hand with a gentle smile.

"You look terrible."

The sudden sass made Lena let out a small chuckle, forgetting about the anxiousness for a second. Thank God for Jack. "I'm not a mirror, Jack." She arched a perfectly-shaped eyebrow. "Perhaps you could take a quick break to the comfort room?"

The sarcasm elicited a big laugh from Jack. That caught the photographers' attention if it wasn't on them before. They found their interaction interesting, apparently, as the flashes came in a frenzy, popping their bubble. If Lena wasn't used to it, it surely would've made her flinch from the irritate it caused to her eyes. The crowds got seemingly rowdier with the car door open. Lena took a deep, shaky breath. It was time. Exhaling with a finality, Lena took Jack’s hand and stepped out of the black car and into the red carpet.

____

The big screen has long faded into black as Lena stayed sitting in the dark. The crowd were the ones who were first ushered out of the cinema after the screening, but not without signing autographs first from big names in Hollywood who attended the event, of course. The rest of the cast has bid their goodbyes, telling Lena they’ll meet her again at the party before rushing out of the cinema to go to the after party next.

She didn't want to go just yet.

Jack immediately furrowed his eyebrows the second Lena told him to leave first, and it took her some time to convince her date. No, they’re not actually dating. While the two starred as lovers in the movie, Lena and Jack are only friends. Sam told her she had to have someone to walk the carpet with, as it would be good for the pictures, and her costar Jack who played Mr. Darcy was the perfect choice. Surely there would be dating rumors tomorrow morning, and that would do wonders for promotion.

"You and your sentimental ass", Jack teased as he finally stood up, relenting. Lena rolled her eyes, a fond smile on her lips as she stood up too to meet him in a bear hug. They were the only ones left in the room, with everyone in a rush to leave early. "I really am proud of you. You've come so far now, darling." Jack hugged her a little tighter, making Lena yelp exaggeratedly. He let her go then with a laugh, folding his blazer that he took off in the middle of the movie to his arm.

"I'm gonna call Sam on my way out", he shouts out as he neared the exit. She was sure Sam was looking out for her through Jack, as they spent a lot of time together in the months they shot the movie. It wasn't even a question; he was just informing her. Lena knew what it meant; it was a silent 'you shouldn't be alone right now.'

She adjusted her position on the stiff seat, thanking her logical side that decided to wear a suit instead of a gown. (Sam, her longtime friend and manager had completely supported her choice, saying she would look hotter in a three-piece suit than in a gown. That wasn’t the main reason, but it was certainly a nice bonus. She does look hot in a suit, especially in burgundy, not that she'd admit that out proudly.)

Lena is alone now. (Maybe not- solitude has always been a welcome company.)

It felt strange. Just hours earlier she was blinded by the flashes of the cameras, deafened by the fans in the line and photographers screaming her name, holding on to the chance that she may spare them a glance or a pose. Lena’s cheeks ached from all the smiling. It was exhausting. She was sure she was running on adrenaline now. Just barely.

It would seem like it was another peak for Lena. Tonight marked her debut as an actress, before her first movie was to be released in the country, even international. It was a dream come true. Or it should have been. Yet as she sat on the night of celebration, she felt it in her bones that there was something missing. Or some _one._ There has always been a hollow part in her chest that can't, won't, be filled since the day she left-

"Hey superstar!" Lena was pulled out from her thoughts so suddenly she nearly jumped out of her skin. "Fuck, Sam! How many times-" "Yeah, yeah. You didn't hear me knock." Sam merely shrugged (as if to say "not my fault now") as she sat down beside Lena, legs swung over the arm rest before continuing, "Jack called. Said you looked like you might drown yourself or something."

"He's that dramatic."

"No one's as dramatic at you, though." Sam quipped with a small laugh, then handed a bottle of cheap beer to Lena before she drank her own. She raised a brow, confused with the sudden change. She had been pestering her to cut down her intake of alcoholic drinks. To hell with it. The champagne given earlier wasn't strong enough. She took a hesitant gulp of the beverage, and groaned at the pleasant burn in her throat. Cheap or not, it does its job.

"Where's Ruby?"

"I left her with a baby sitter for tonight." Well, that kind of explains why she was drinking without much thought. She had been careful with alcohol in the past two years when she had Ruby. She was free for tonight. "I wasn't missing your premiere." Her eyes spotted something behind Sam, or the seat beside Sam away from Lena, was a package- a bouquet?

A knowing grin stretched on Lena's face, realizing what Sam was doing. They've been friends for years, even lived together when they were assigned as roommates in college. She knows that Sam is buttering her up for something. So that's what the beer really is for; alcohol courage.

Like that time she came back to their room to find her offering her food. It confused Lena, because they weren't really friends back then. They don't talk, and they minded their own business; so they most certainly weren't close enough to share food. Later on, she found out that Sam had accidentally used her coffee beans. Her coffee beans that were imported from Italy. Lena's favorite coffee. She was so angry at Sam back then. She had to stop by the café outside the campus every morning for weeks. The memory makes her chuckle now.

"Spit it out, Sam." That stopped her rambling. Sam's eyes widened for a second before she tried to school her expression into innocent confusion. It only made her look more guilty. This is why Lena's the actress between the two. "What?', she asked after a beat of silence.

Lena rolled her eyes and said, "I'm your best friend. I know what you look like when you're trying too hard to hide something, Sam." She paused dramatically, staring intently at her friend who has gone quiet. "And you look exactly like it right now."

With a long sip of beer, Sam seemed to finally decide to come clean. She reached out to her back, cradling the bouquet of white flowers and handed it to Lena. "That came in today." The job of receiving and checking gifts from fans most of the time isn't Sam's, but when it is, she sends it straight to Lena's apartment after checking the packages. Gifts were only handed to Lena personally when it's from Lillian or Lex, not that that happened often. Lena glanced at the flowers in her arm, immediately recognizing it. Plumerias. Her favorite. She shot Sam a confused look. There were only a handful of people who knew this about Lena.

"This came from Lex?"

(Lex was supposed to be here, in the premiere in support for his little sister's debut as an actress. He was always the supportive one. From sending flowers to events and photoshoots, to buying a billboard (she knows Lex did that to tease her, but still), no matter how annoying he became, he never let her think he wasn't on her side. But with him being the CEO of Luthor Pharmaceuticals and his therapy, Lex was busier than ever. He called just yesterday, saying he was on the verge of a breakthrough for his research that could save the company. And though that meant he wouldn’t be able to come, Lena understood. That doesn’t mean she didn’t feel disappointed, though.)

"No, the one he sent is too heavy to carry," Sam chuckled, but it sounded forced, making her cringe. Seriously, this was an overreaction for a bouquet. Lena's track of thinking came to a halt. Unless it was a bouquet from not just anyone. Her hands slackened around the flowers as she felt it start to slip. Sam watched as Lena came to a realization, giving her a tight-lipped smile.

_\- Kara._ The bouquet fell to the floor without a sound. The coldness of the room became too much all of a sudden, she clutched her right arm with the other. Her jaw was slackened as her mind started to go elsewhere.

Lena supposed there was never really a day where she doesn't think of Kara, though she doesn’t have to voice that out. She was a forbidden topic, her name never uttered, per Lena's request a year back. But even after going through all that to avoid Kara, she has been always on the back of Lena's mind, never leaving.

Hands clamped down on Lena's shoulders after what seemed like hours, bringing her back to the present. Sam was kneeling now in front of her, a worried look plastered on her face.

"Breathe, Lena."

Sam motioned for her to follow her breathing, as she did whenever Lena was starting to spiral or feeling overwhelmed. It went for minutes until Lena was able to breathe calmly again, her heartbeat slowed until it resumed to its normal pace. "I'm gonna call Frank to wait outside the backdoor and get us home, okay?" Sam had asked some time later. They had to leave. She could only give a small nod, her eyes cast downwards somberly. There was no way Lena would be able to attend the party in after dropping that bomb. Appearances be damned, Sam would never let her suffer the rest of the evening with faked smiles. They would deal with Jess, her manager later, but for now, all Lena wanted was the comfort of her house. They went through the exit by the back of the building knowing there would be photographers still at the front.. Without a word, they sneaked into the car.

____

11:23 pm. The time flashed red by the radio of the front seat.

Lena has yet to say a word. Her head as rested on the window glass, watching the streaks of lights by passing cars absentmindedly as she was lost in thought. The bouquet was sitting between Lena and Sam, its presence never forgotten even if it was out of her sight. It was just there, taunting her. She shouldn’t have been surprised that Kara congratulated her, because _of course_ she would, she’s _Kara._ She also knows that Sam still talk to their friends from college, so there's that. Casually taking a sip of beer every now and then, she thought of the card that came with the flowers Sam had given her earlier in the ride. 'Congratulations.' One word. Just that, and nothing else. It was so formal, so, so unlike Kara. Lena couldn't have known Kara wrote it if not for the neat handwriting that she'd recognize anywhere. Kara used to always send emojis and numerous exclamation marks and handwritten asymmetrical hearts, her messages were nearly as bright as her, and Lena always found herself smiling reading them. She always found them cute. The coldness of the formality made her laugh, and the tears that were building up finally fell on her cheeks. She could feel Frank's concerned eyes on her through the rear mirror, but she couldn't bring herself to care. It is funny. Lena had always imagined this night with Kara by her side, beaming in her tailored suit or gown, whichever she decided to wear. It didn't matter, she'd always look handsome. Had the world been more merciful, the daydream would've been her reality tonight.

She felt Sam's arm around her shoulder, and she let herself be pulled. Hiding her face in her best friend's neck, Lena finally let the sobs wrack through her body.

____

_You should've been here. And I would've been so happy._

____

"You must have questions."

She does. Was Kara here? Did she deliver the flowers herself? How was she? Lena does have questions. A lot of them. But she knows that once she starts, she won't be able to stop herself. She gives a flippant shrug. Then silence.

"Are you going to send something to her?"

God, Lena wants to. It's taking all of her self-restraint right now to not scroll her contacts and call Kara. But she's scared. She knows with certainty that Kara will answer, and she wouldn't be able to take hearing her voice again. She's not drunk enough to deal with that. With clenched jaw, she answers a shaky no. Lena hears Sam sigh, but she's closing her eyes now, too exhausted and light-headed from all the alcohol. It's probably better off this way.

____

_They've been carrying boxes all day. Lena flopped down on the wooden floor, not caring anymore about the dust. She can just take a shower later, but now she's too goddamn exhausted. They really should've just called for help. Lena doesn't know how Kara convinced her to do this (most probably with puppy eyes that she can't say no to. Muscles she didn't know that existed were burning, it felt as though she ran a fucking marathon. Exercises were evil. And yet, as Kara came in again with the last box held up her shoulder, with her very toned biceps flexing, Lena could say she can certainly see the appeal._

_Kara looked up at her with an annoying smug look in her eyes, and she knows she's been caught staring. "Thirsty?" Kara said with a playful tone as she threw a plastic bottle fo_ _r Lena to catch._

_Lena squealed, flailing as she catched the bottle. "You are such an asshole!"_

_"Whaat-" Kara furrowed her eyebrows and let out an indignant huff, dropping the box with a thud. Before she could protest, something fell from the box that called both their attention. A DVD? Lena stood up after recognizing it immediately, trying to reach it before Kara does; it's useless. She's on her tiptoes, trying to reach as Kara held it over her head. "A Midsummer's Night Dream?"_

Fuck. _Lena's face has never turned red so fast before (that was usually Kara's role). Embarrassed, she tried to hide her face with her hands while Kara's eyes are squinting, trying to read the cover clearly without her glasses. "Lena Luthor as Hermia- Oh my God, you were a theater kid?!" Her tone raised, disbelief apparent, mouth left open. "How did I not know about this?" "_

_Yeah," Lena started, prolonging the word, but Kara was half-listening, already looking for other DVDs in the box. And sure, she found others; Rumors, Our Town, After Juliet. "My girlfriend is a total theater kid," Kara mumbled underneath her breath, and she couldn't help but roll her eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah I acted in high school."_

_When she looked back at her girlfriend, she was already pulling the puppy eyes, pleading wide eyes and a pout. A pout! (the things that did to her heart-)_

_"Oh, no."_

_"Oh yes."_

_Lena tried to say no, she really did. She knows seeing herself act on screen would be awkward as hell, not to mention her brother's loud antics. But who the fuck could say no when Kara pouted? She swears she could get away with murder with that look. Lena sighed in defeat. "Okay, but you're paying for dinner."_

_Kara tilted her head to give Lena a quick peck on her lips. Then she shot a fist in the air with a silent 'yes!', before picking up her phone to call her favorite Chinese restaurant._

_Lena shook her head fondly. She had a feeling Kara didn't mean just one DVD. This was going to be a long day._

___

_It was funny. Lena would laugh if she wasn't so embarrassed. The whole play was a mess. There were a lot of cues that were missed, a backdrop was ripped that a backstage crew held for the rest of the play, and Lex, the one holding the camera, was loud. (Yes, her brother was there on all of her performances. And he made sure to record it. To embarrass her more than to support, Lena was almost sure.) He was shouting like a cheerleader whenever Lena entered the stage._

_Yet Kara was watching it like she was watching one of her favorite movies._

_They were lying on a blanket on the floor, empty containers of Chinese takeout in front of them. The unpacked boxes long forgotten. Kara's head was on Lena's lap, her eyes glued to the laptop, occasionally humming as she unconsciously ran her hands through Kara's hair. Play forgotten for a second, she glanced down at Kara's cheek. With the sun on her skin, she looked like she was glowing. (She wouldn't be surprised if she really was.) Lena was only brought back to reality when she heard the applause that implied it was already over._

_Kara turned her head so that she was looking up at her, a fond smile on her face. "You're so amazing, what the hell." Lena's eyes widened; her cheeks flushed once again. She wasn't prepared for that. "Mess is the word I'd use to describe it." "I said you." She insisted. Blue eyes brimming with sincerity. "The play was fun, but you were amazing. Not to mention you looked gorgeous in your costume. And you did amazing. Is there even anything you can't do?" She chuckled. "Guess I'm going to be your arm candy on the red carpet someday, huh?"_

_It was said so casually. She said it as if she was sure it would happen, like it was the only future she could imagine. Someday. It made Lena's heart feel so full, so warm. She tilted her head down, pulling Kara's tank top, and met her in a sweet kiss. Kara still tasted like potstickers and soy sauce. Her hair was in Lena's face, the citrus smell of cheap shampoo that was so Kara, made her heart beat faster and feel a little light-headed. She smiled into the kiss. Kara pulled away, resting her forehead on Lena's._

_"There're still three plays to go."_ _Kara said as she replaced the DVD with another one, then went back to lay her head on Lena's lap. She was really hoping Kara had forgotten about that by now, wanting to save herself from further embarrassment. No matter compliments her girlfriend will tell her, it will never be not awkward to look back on her theater days. Those days seem so far away now, she usually forgets that that was her life just a few years ago. (She kind of misses those days when she wasn't always cooped up in the science lab.)_

_They ended up ordering food again, two boxes of pizzas this time. Laying on the floor of their new apartment, Lena closed her eyes. She ignored the pain of her thighs numbing as it lost circulation, unwilling to make any sudden move that might disturb her girlfriend, whose shoulders were slightly shaking from laughing silently as she watched the play. She wouldn't have traded it for anything else in the world. There, with her hand tangled in Kara's hair, she felt home at last._

____

**Oscars 2018: Lena Luthor Nominated for Best Actress**

The 2018 Academy Award nominations were announced on Tuesday morning and cemented Lena Luthor into the cinematic history books. Lena Luthor, rising star, has been nominated for the Best Actress Academy Award for her performance as Therese in Carol. The nomination marks the first time Luthor has been up for the award. Carol is the star’s second movie since her debut in 2017’s adaptation of ‘Pride and Prejudice’.

Other nominees in the category include Siobhan Smythe, Gayle Marsh, Olivia Colman, and Melissa McCarthy. Lena Luthor's achievement in acting helped Little Women earn five total nominations, including Best Actor for Jack Spheer, and Best Picture. Luthor thanked the Academy in an interview, saying, “I am so humbled and proud to be nominated for two Academy Awards.” She added, “This is a dream come true, that a once very little girl could never believe would be happening.” Find her statement below.

____

The happiness she felt as she was nominated for the Academy Award was taken from her faster than she had it. Everything went to shit.

First, she loses the Academy Award. That she could take.

But then, Lex fucked up, big, big time.

____

Lena was sure she would bash he head if Sam doesn't stop shouting.

"I swear to god I'm gonna fireman carry your ass out if I have to-"

She closed her eyes in annoyance and groaned. Sam wasn't even in the same room and she could hear still her very clearly. It was 8 in the morning, and she hasn't had her coffee yet, so yes, she's kind of cranky. Lena finally fit her foot through her heeled boots, which was hard to wear. She was sure her foot would hurt later and hoped she wouldn't have to do much walking. She stood in the front of her mirror and studied her outfit with knitted brows. Just black slacks, a sleeved top and leather boots. Lena wore her straightened hair down, used minimal make up and red lipstick. She was going for the casual, but not too casual look. Did she look fine? Should she wear her taller leather boots? Maybe she'd look better with her hair up in ponytail-

Lena saw the door to her room open in the mirror, revealing Sam with a flat expression. "What are you doing just standing there still?" Lena raised her hands in defeat, muttering a prolonged _fine_. No to changing anything, then. Sam handed her a warm tumbler that was probably filled with coffee to the brim, (Lena's going to need it, really) and her car keys. "You're going to be late, _go!_ " Lena replied an "I'm going!" but not before hugging her best friend with one arm. Then she made her way outside.

"Take care of Ruby for me!"

"Yeah yeah, good luck!"

Reaching her car, Lena hoped they didn't wake anyone with all their noise. Sitting in the driver's seat, she took a deep breath. Finally, some quiet. She took a sip of her coffee, pleased with the warmth setting in her stomach immediately. She could feel herself starting to actually wake up. And with that, Lena started her car.

When Lena arrived at the main road, she couldn't help but sigh. The streets were practically empty. There was no need to rush. She could've at least eaten something for breakfast. Feeling awkward with the silence, she turned on the radio. A lively song that she can't recognize started playing. Her hands started tapping on the wheel anxiously as she bit her lips. Today, she's going to Cat Grant's office to read the script for the movie. They're going to start shooting this month. Lena is nowhere emotionally ready for that. This was the first movie she was casted in almost two years. Two years after Lex got arrested and dragged the Luthor name through the mud.

No one had wanted anything to do with her since then. After Carol, a lot of directors and producers had called her, there were a lot of advertisement offers, and when it happened, everyone pulled out. No one, except Sam, stuck with her in the hardest times of her life. (Her mother did call at least once a month, which was a huge change considering she could go through an entire year without receiving a call. Lena wasn't really surprised, Lillian just lost her golden boy, she was the only blood relative she has. Lena knew that she was just Lex's replacement,) Sam offered to come with her today, knowing this would be an emotionally draining day. For sure there will be paparazzi waiting for her, and the cast would be giving snide smiles. But it was Ruby's first day back to school, so of course Lena declined. She would make it through today. She had to.

It was easier now that two years have passed though, that's for sure. Back then the family of Lex's victims and citizens who sympathized would find where she was staying and vandalize her apartment. Back then there were dozens of death threats in the mail everyday. There aren't any nowadays, though on some days she gets shit luck.

Like today.

Lena muttered a string of curses when she saw paparazzi at the gate. She anticipated it, because of course people would want to see the Luthor going back to the big screen. But she didn't expect it would be at this scale. There were at least three dozen. Fuck. She should’ve been used to it by now, but it never gets easier. With her heart racing, she takes a u-turn. She's going to have to use the back entrance.

____

Being anxious was one thing, being anxious and having nothing that can distract her was another, and worse. Lena was 30 minutes or so early. She checked her phone and cursed when she realized she left her earphones at home. It felt like sitting outside the surgery room, waiting for a family member's surgery to be over for hours. Not having anything else to do meant she was aware of what was happening around her, and that meant hearing people whisper around her, that meant seeing how people sent her glares (Lena was sure it wasn't just because of the paparazzi that were here for her). Not having anything else to focus on made it impossible to tune them out. They could at least try to be discreet about it, she thought.

So she stood up and tried to look for a vending machine instead. She was starting to feel hungry, and the coffee sure wasn't enough. There was one in a secluded part of the floor, just beside a room that had its door open. Minding her own business, Lena inserted a penny in a slot and eyed the choices that were all junk food. Better than nothing, she chose the chocolate bar. Her eyes wandered to the open room, noticing that Cat Grant was there. Cat Grant was the director and writer for the movie. (When Jess had sent her the announcement of auditions, she had almost declined, if not for the mention of Cat. For some reason, that convinced her. So here she was.)

And in front of Cat, she noticed, was a blonde woman.

_Huh_. Her mind went to Kara immediately. Just like that time when they had recently broken up, when her heart beat sped up whenever she saw a blonde woman. The chocolate bar fell. Her mind was playing tricks again. It has been a long while since that happened. Grabbing the bar from the slot, Lena was about to leave when she heard Cat speak.

"I _know_ you're going to be a good writer. Don’t question me, Kiera."

That made her stop. Lena knows Cat was known for getting peoples' name wrong. She had bad rep for that. Then _Kiera_ replied something. But Lena didn't catch it. All she knew was that it was Kara's voice. You don’t spend years pining after someone only to not recognize their voice immediately. She would recognize that voice anywhere. She could feel her face drain of all color. Her mind wasn’t playing games on her again. Her eyes widened; her jaw dropped. Her limbs were rooted to the floor.

_Ohmygod._ Kara's here, working for Cat. Kara's one of the writers of the movie.

Which meant one thing: Lena was going to spend the next few months working with her ex. Her ex who is once was the love of her life. She had never been more wrong. She wasn’t ready for this. Not at _all._

____

The center of every poem is this:

I have loved you.

I have had to deal with that.

// Letters from Medea 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!!! This is my first work that i've had enough courage to post, please bear with me.
> 
> Talk to me on twitter @ venkasbitch, @ Vorelleu (tho i'm inactive in that account)


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